To Be or Not To Be...The Apprentice

by Thomas Jamerson

The new contestants for this year's The Apprentice are supposed to be fluffier and more extravagant than last years' lot. Notice the difference? Not me.

The real pleasure in watching The Apprentice is not so much thinking or knowing -from your armchair- that you could do better in any given challenge than the contestants as they flounder and hustle to impress Sir Alan and to assert their authority and superiority over each other. The real pleasure comes from imagining oneself in Sir Alan's seat and dishing out the bollockings after the tasks.

The first episode was great fun. Men's team leader Alex Witherspoon (a Regional Sales Manager) got in to a strop with fellow team members Raef Bjayou (Entrepreneur) and the obnoxious barrister Nicholas De Lacy Brown. The crux of the argument was class. Nicholas assuming that he was ostracised due to his abundance and lack of common ground with the other commoners, whilst Raef insisted he got along with both princes and paupers in equal measure and with good grace. It was hilarious, like a playground squabble but rather than arguing over who had the best toy car selection or if The Hulk could beat up Superman, they boys were arguing the toss over who was cleverest and most humble at the same time. Sir Alan looked on seemingly amused and then -thank goodness- brought the dispute to a close by dismissing Nicholas without ceremony for messing up the pricing of the seafood the boys undersold to lose to the girls team.

The series looks like being another entertaining ride. The eccentricities and vanities of the contestants -as amply shown in their mini biographies- are sure to inflame each other and give the armchair Apprentice watching a feast of giggles and groans.